It has been a while, yes? A long while. I was contemplating starting another new blog… and then I asked myself if that is really what I want to do?… I like this one. I like the people I write to. I like writing to myself here. Why try to reinvent the wheel… reinventing myself is enough work as it is.

So, like me, this blog is evolving. I am gardening again, I am happy to report. But, this time it is a cooperative endeavor – Tom, the chickens and the bees are all a part of this co-creation. It is a lot more fun that way. We have buckwheat and wheat for the birds, but they mostly seem to like pecking around at everything else, respectful of our tidy rows. Hopefully they haven’t developed a taste for tomatoes between last season and this one.

But, on to where I really want to go today. I went for a run for the first time in a really long time. I got new sneakers – this was incentive. And I have committed myself to competing in a race that is 3 miles plus obstacles in July in Des Moines… added incentive. I was feeling frustrated this morning with where I am and where I imagine I want to be and in feeling the big disconnect between the two – this has to do with my work, primarily – my business and how it contributes to the fabric of the community and how it can begin to be its own community – I just felt overwhelmed. A run seemed like a good option, as it takes me into a silent space where the answers can just hit me, kind of like the random bug in the teeth – you don’t see them coming.

Since it has been a while since I last ran, my body was thinking this was a pretty major event – my mind, too, telling me things like, “3 Miles? Really? I don’t think so… either turn around or just stop, but either way you are out of your mind.” Again, the overwhelm. I was bound and determined not to be the victim of my thinking. How can I look at this another way? Focus on the step in front of you. Can you do that? Then, can you try take that step in a way that is enjoyable? WOW! What a shift. That change in perspective made the run doable – the uphills, the wind that was a little too cold for my ears, the distance… all proved surmountable. And dare I say enjoyable?! 🙂

All of my lamenting, questioning and berating took place along a specific point in my journey, as well… mainly the first mile. The first mile is always the hardest. Easily transferable to most any endeavor. Note to self.

The other piece that I realized is that it is very important to have a heading. This I have personal experience with after a handful of seasons aboard some sturdy vessels. The little steps you take along the way, they were meant to be enjoyed. We always had a general itinerary and a standard route plan, and I was generally blessed with a captain that understood the value of attention, intention and experience. Exploring the not-so-beaten-path was something we did really well. It kept us all very present. And all the while we were making progress, moving towards our destination.

Teachers come in all forms. All we really have to be is a willing student.

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